Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Tarot and reconciling with an ex?

I have mainly read for myself for the past four years, but a few months ago I made the leap of faith to start reading for other people – remotely, completely online. My sitters come from all over the world, the only things that connect them are the access to internet, interest towards tarot and a burning question they need an answer for.

I never meet my clients, I don’t know anything about them and next to nothing about their questions, and yet I’m supposed to generate a meaningful answer. And mystically, amazingly, that’s exactly what cards do. Sometimes people give me a sentence or two for background information, such as is the situation about romance, friendship, work or what. Sometimes all I get is “what is X planning regarding me” and I have no clue who is X and what these plans could be: hire the querent? Promote him/her? Marry him/her? Kick them out? And… the cards tell me.

There is a certain element of danger in tarot but it’s not what some people fear – that it’s some sort of a gateway for malevolent entities or attract demons or whatnot in your life. It actually is about tarot being a gateway, but it's into one’s own mind, and being cuttingly honest in it. What’s the deepest, most bare thought or desire about something, will surface with the cards.

How to fly when you feel like breaking down? Picture Sabrina M, published under CC licence
Through cards, I have got answers for myself and for others that the querent most definitely did not expect or want to hear.

I’ve been asked to describe someone’s beloved, and the description I got was not the person’s current partner, but her ex. And it came as a shock to the sitter herself that the ex, indeed, was the one in her mind. I’ve been asked how to make the “misbehaving” soon-to-be ex to act like the sitter wanted. And the answer I got was not about the uncooperative partner but the sitter herself: what should she fix in her own behaviour and tantrums to be able to ask for changes in her partner. Or for myself, what is my most negative personality trait and that also revolved around hysterics and tantrums in relationships… I don’t even lose my **** often but it still came up!

The most disheartening answers are, of course, negatives for question we’d so yearn to hear positive news about. Will I get this job? NO. Will X ask me out? NO. Will things work all right between me and my ex? NO. Will I be happy soon? NO. However, with tarot the answer is never black and white and that’s why also my readings follow the pattern: yes, and… or unfortunately looks like no, but… There is simply more to the story than the plain, short positive or negative affirmation. "Yes, because of these reasons and this will follow", or "no because of these reasons and here’s what you could do about it to make things better".

I actually hesitated setting up this website and reading service because the questions I am asked about most often relate to reconciling with one’s ex. That, by nature, is a very difficult topic, because exes are usually exes for a reason. At least one person, if not both, walked out because they were so fed up and done that there was nothing left to try. 

Oftentimes, of course, the situation is not this simple and the relationship is much more complicated – or the circumstances are complicating it – and things could still play out to any direction. Nevertheless, the general life experience tells me that if a couple breaks up, the odds are at the side of not reconciling; how could I keep delivering these dire news to hopeful people who are willing to try anything to give it a one more try? 

Tarot has an answer. Yes, quite often I get gloomy cards for the idea of reconciliation: nah, not gonna happen, just keep walking. But sometimes the cards show cautious hope, a tiny ray of light. But they also often show what the sitter should do and change in his/her behaviour to make any progress and that's the key: we can only change ourselves, we can't force others to do anything - man up, take responsibility, treat us better.. Nope. It all starts from ourselves and setting our own example and boundaries. And tarot will handily, readily and honestly tell you if there is something that should or could change from your part, so that any changes can happen from other's part. 

I think the biggest advantage of a tarot reading in a break up situation is to prepare oneself for the worst, if it (a permanent separation) were to come; or armor oneself with hope and resilience, if the emotions could still be salvaged to full-bloom, more mature love with more mature and loving actions. Maybe the relationship could be saved to friendship, affection and respect, if no romantic love can bud anymore.

At the very least, the cards tell what you can learn about the break up, the finished relationship and about yourself to be able to move on and succeed with much better chances next time. There might be a reason why this relationship didn't work - - - a better one might just be in the horizon!

Sun will always rise eventually.

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